I have so many posts to write. They are kind of circular. There is the one about how blessed I am which helps explain why this post is about saving and paying off debt at the same time. I haven't written it yet. But that can't be helped. Just pretend I'm a mystery writer.
So, thankfully, I have very little real debt, but I do owe some people for minor things like a semester of out-of-state grad school tuition and when my car threw a rod during grad school and I had a day to find a new car. I'll call those people my parents because they are.* Basically I have to pay them back into a joint savings account that either of us can use if we really need it. (Mystery solved--you didn't even have to read 246 pages.) Guess who is more likely to need that money. (A new mystery!)
The thing is, since becoming a one-income household, I am doubly-motivated to get the balance up in that account. I'm terrified that the other shoe will drop and we will be really hurting for some cash. There are a hundred what-ifs I can think of.
So I'm trying to fall back on some money-saving tricks that I developed in grad school to pay off my credit card while living below the poverty line. And can I just take a moment to say that my school is awesome at preparing you for reality. The humanities grad students earn significantly less for their assistantships than the business grad students. Just like real life!
1. Save first and last. One of the advantages of being on a staff of one is that the powers that be can't rationalize paying for direct deposit. I still get a paper check. Hello, 1999, I've missed you! I don't like the personal interactions I have every month with the bank tellers and I want to make them as short as possible. So I hurriedly deposit all but a minuscule portion of my check every month into my checking account. Then I run back to the safety of my computer and transfer some of that shiny new money into my savings account. If there is anything left over at the end of the month, it goes in too.
2. Save anything unexpected. I've been pretty good at getting money owed me out of people lately. I haven't broken any kneecaps and I'm not selling smack (heroin or vagina, just to clarify), but this wasn't regular paycheck money. So it goes into savings, too.
3. Saving Alex. My husband thinks Alexander Hamilton is by far the best looking founding father. I know, right? So whenever I get one, I put him is a super secret special hiding place. All my 10 spots are saved. I do the same thing with change.
4. Rounding up. This was my number one money game in grad school. You know the one. In your check register you just round up to the next dollar. I kept track of all the extra cents and all the money I saved at the grocery store with specials and coupons, too. I used this to make and extra credit card payment every month.
If all goes well, I'll have my parents paid back well before they're 157. Yay, I can't wait!
*The one stipulation of this loan was that if my parents died, I owed Sibling half. They are sticklers on those terms and conditions.
_________________________________
Breakfast: Banana muffins
Snack: Clementine
Lunch: Stuffed scalloped potatoes
Snack: Granola bar and celery
Dinner: I went to Chili's with Awkward and Awesome. I'm still full. If you're in the mood to go out for a cheap app and drink, check out Chili's website. They have coupons you can print from now til Christmas. We had free chips and queso and those Southwest Eggrolls. Minus the 7 & 7, this cost, like $3.95 plus tip.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Green Bean Bundles
No canned mushroom soup, french fried onion topped green bean glop for me. My green bean bundles have gained wide acceptance among the in-laws as the way to have green beans at family gatherings. Even some of the kids are on board with these beans.
The trick to making them so delectable is what I've come to understand as the food trifecta: salt, fat and sugar. These aren't every day beans. They've been primped. They're special party beans.
Green Bean Bundles
3 cans whole green beans the first instance of salt $1.50
1 pound bacon salt + fat $3.49
1 stick of butter fat + salt 57 cents
1/2 cup brown sugar sugar 25 cents (?)
garlic powder to taste
Cut the bacon in half, lengthwise. Roll up 8-12 green beans in half a slice of bacon. Place seam side down in a 9 x 13 baking dish.
Bring the butter and sugar to a boil. Pour over the green beans.
Bake at 375 for 40-50 minutes.
Total: $5.81. This makes about 24 or so bundles. That would make each bundle 24 cents. Two make a good side dish size serving. Not totally cheap but more impressive and way tastier than green bean casserole.
_________________________________
Breakfast: Um, a tortilla with ham (free) and a slice of cheese with horseradish. Yeah. 38 cents Not counting the horseradish--it's medicinal.
Lunch: Enchilada 99 cents
Snack: Clementine and Granola Bar 56 cents
Dinner: Green Bean Bundles $1.68
Total: $3.61
The trick to making them so delectable is what I've come to understand as the food trifecta: salt, fat and sugar. These aren't every day beans. They've been primped. They're special party beans.
Green Bean Bundles
3 cans whole green beans the first instance of salt $1.50
1 pound bacon salt + fat $3.49
1 stick of butter fat + salt 57 cents
1/2 cup brown sugar sugar 25 cents (?)
garlic powder to taste
Cut the bacon in half, lengthwise. Roll up 8-12 green beans in half a slice of bacon. Place seam side down in a 9 x 13 baking dish.
Bring the butter and sugar to a boil. Pour over the green beans.
Bake at 375 for 40-50 minutes.
Total: $5.81. This makes about 24 or so bundles. That would make each bundle 24 cents. Two make a good side dish size serving. Not totally cheap but more impressive and way tastier than green bean casserole.
_________________________________
Breakfast: Um, a tortilla with ham (free) and a slice of cheese with horseradish. Yeah. 38 cents Not counting the horseradish--it's medicinal.
Lunch: Enchilada 99 cents
Snack: Clementine and Granola Bar 56 cents
Dinner: Green Bean Bundles $1.68
Total: $3.61
Monday, November 29, 2010
'Tis the Season
"Take a look at the five and ten/glistening once again/with candy canes and silver lanes aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like" sinusitis. Ah-ha...this isn't a sing-along post. It's a post about my head cavity problems.
Thanksgiving has past and Christmas will soon be upon us. That means it is time, once again, for my head to stop up, my eyes to get red and water, and my nose to start its incessant dripping.
The moment it began, I was onto it. Friday night. The throat starts to tighten on the left side. Phantom pressure floats from my nose to the space behind my right eye and them marches across my face. In the morning, my teeth hurt to brush them. Oh, sinusitis, how I've missed you.
In high school, I spent most of American Government asleep. It was not for the lack of entertainment to be had in class. My teacher was delightfully loud and kooky. My fellow classmates climbed out the window and talked about stockpiling guns in the basement of the Catholic church so they'd be ready to take over the world when the Pope gave the signal. It was delightful but I missed out on so much thanks to Dimetapp.
As I've grown older, I've become more averse to taking drugs, especially over-the-counter and prescription drugs. I mean, c'mon, where's the fun in that? Plus I don't think you're supposed to consume alcohol and what would I do without my bourbon? No really ;o notice the wink, normally my symptoms are gone in the same amount of time if I take something as if I don't take something. So why bother?
Well, did you know that your sinuses can become impacted and back up into your eyes and they you start oozing from your eyes? No? It's a pretty convincing sick-day excuse, especially when it starts happening at work and then you have to drive an hour home clutching a tissue to dab at you oozy eye. Even when it happens that week between Christmas and New Year's when no one wants to work and everyone thinks about faking sick--it's still really convincing. Not that that's happened to me before! ;o
This year I'm hoping to avoid looking like I've come down with a mutated version of eye Ebola. I'm trying to attack my tormentor early with some home remedies. Here's my top 10 list:
1. Cultivate a breath stench that would make a corpse flower wither up and die. So far, I've drank apple cider vinegar/garlic-infused hot water, I've eaten raw garlic (mixed with some tapenade to take the edge off) and I've eaten a weird mix of horseradish, olive oil and lemon juice. The apple cider vinegar is gross but I think the garlic makes it better somehow. I rather enjoyed the horseradish. I ate it on a saltine and kept looking for the raw oysters to go with it.
2. Make your husband think you're cooking something that smells good. I think I've pointed out before that my husband always thinks my cooking stinks. So today when I was heating water with pressed garlic to take the steam, he commented on how good it smelled. Let me get this straight, if Imma eat it, it stinks; if Imma make something that is purposely supposed to stink to open my sinuses, it smells good? I also cooked up some ginger water to make a hot compress for my face. (P.S. My microplane is worthless. Garage sale!) I'm also hoping for some unknown benefits for my pores.
3. You should have to run to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Word is, the more you drink, the thinner your mucous is. I use this as an excuse to buy the good flavored sparkling water. Also sage tea. Why sage? I don't know, but it doesn't suck so that's ok.
4. Steal your kid's vitamins. You should probably always steal your kid's vitamins. If they need vitamins, you should be feeding them better foods, anyway. Also, grape seed extract. Why are your kids buying weird supplements? Steal them, too.
5. Poke your eyes out. Sinus massage not only feels good, it is brings a fresh blood supply to the area. Plus, weird red marks all over your face. These will be helpful if you decide to leave work early. You'll look sicker.
6. Pour some salt on that wound? If you're like me, by this time, your nose is all chapped and raw. The last thing that sounds appealing is to snort saltwater or pour it in your nose-hole. But science disagrees with me. I haven't Neti-ed up yet.
7. Give up the good stuff. Dairy, Alcohol, Sugar. Life is no longer worth living.
8. Sleep. Ok, that makes it more bearable.
9. Exercise. Shoot! I just used this as an excuse not to exercise.
10. Carry around a handkerchief until you feel better. A red old man one. They're cheaper than tissues and you can use them to avoid unwanted human interactions. Don't want to talk to someone? Pull out your old man kerchief and start blowing your nose everywhere.
______________________________
Breakfast: Oatmeal, powdered milk, orange marmalade, blueberries
Lunch: Loaded Scalloped Potatoes
Snack: Clementine and granola bar
Dinner: Celery Fancy Snacks and Green bean bundles
Total: Oh, I don't know. I'm sick, give me a break.
Thanksgiving has past and Christmas will soon be upon us. That means it is time, once again, for my head to stop up, my eyes to get red and water, and my nose to start its incessant dripping.
The moment it began, I was onto it. Friday night. The throat starts to tighten on the left side. Phantom pressure floats from my nose to the space behind my right eye and them marches across my face. In the morning, my teeth hurt to brush them. Oh, sinusitis, how I've missed you.
In high school, I spent most of American Government asleep. It was not for the lack of entertainment to be had in class. My teacher was delightfully loud and kooky. My fellow classmates climbed out the window and talked about stockpiling guns in the basement of the Catholic church so they'd be ready to take over the world when the Pope gave the signal. It was delightful but I missed out on so much thanks to Dimetapp.
As I've grown older, I've become more averse to taking drugs, especially over-the-counter and prescription drugs. I mean, c'mon, where's the fun in that? Plus I don't think you're supposed to consume alcohol and what would I do without my bourbon? No really ;o notice the wink, normally my symptoms are gone in the same amount of time if I take something as if I don't take something. So why bother?
Well, did you know that your sinuses can become impacted and back up into your eyes and they you start oozing from your eyes? No? It's a pretty convincing sick-day excuse, especially when it starts happening at work and then you have to drive an hour home clutching a tissue to dab at you oozy eye. Even when it happens that week between Christmas and New Year's when no one wants to work and everyone thinks about faking sick--it's still really convincing. Not that that's happened to me before! ;o
This year I'm hoping to avoid looking like I've come down with a mutated version of eye Ebola. I'm trying to attack my tormentor early with some home remedies. Here's my top 10 list:
1. Cultivate a breath stench that would make a corpse flower wither up and die. So far, I've drank apple cider vinegar/garlic-infused hot water, I've eaten raw garlic (mixed with some tapenade to take the edge off) and I've eaten a weird mix of horseradish, olive oil and lemon juice. The apple cider vinegar is gross but I think the garlic makes it better somehow. I rather enjoyed the horseradish. I ate it on a saltine and kept looking for the raw oysters to go with it.
2. Make your husband think you're cooking something that smells good. I think I've pointed out before that my husband always thinks my cooking stinks. So today when I was heating water with pressed garlic to take the steam, he commented on how good it smelled. Let me get this straight, if Imma eat it, it stinks; if Imma make something that is purposely supposed to stink to open my sinuses, it smells good? I also cooked up some ginger water to make a hot compress for my face. (P.S. My microplane is worthless. Garage sale!) I'm also hoping for some unknown benefits for my pores.
3. You should have to run to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Word is, the more you drink, the thinner your mucous is. I use this as an excuse to buy the good flavored sparkling water. Also sage tea. Why sage? I don't know, but it doesn't suck so that's ok.
4. Steal your kid's vitamins. You should probably always steal your kid's vitamins. If they need vitamins, you should be feeding them better foods, anyway. Also, grape seed extract. Why are your kids buying weird supplements? Steal them, too.
5. Poke your eyes out. Sinus massage not only feels good, it is brings a fresh blood supply to the area. Plus, weird red marks all over your face. These will be helpful if you decide to leave work early. You'll look sicker.
6. Pour some salt on that wound? If you're like me, by this time, your nose is all chapped and raw. The last thing that sounds appealing is to snort saltwater or pour it in your nose-hole. But science disagrees with me. I haven't Neti-ed up yet.
7. Give up the good stuff. Dairy, Alcohol, Sugar. Life is no longer worth living.
8. Sleep. Ok, that makes it more bearable.
9. Exercise. Shoot! I just used this as an excuse not to exercise.
10. Carry around a handkerchief until you feel better. A red old man one. They're cheaper than tissues and you can use them to avoid unwanted human interactions. Don't want to talk to someone? Pull out your old man kerchief and start blowing your nose everywhere.
______________________________
Breakfast: Oatmeal, powdered milk, orange marmalade, blueberries
Lunch: Loaded Scalloped Potatoes
Snack: Clementine and granola bar
Dinner: Celery Fancy Snacks and Green bean bundles
Total: Oh, I don't know. I'm sick, give me a break.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Black Friday
Although you may expect that I planned my stops for the wee small hours of the morning to buy the latest toys, electronics, blue-rays, and fuzzy slippers at a steep discount in a big box store because we have less money to spend than we did last year, I did not. Here are the reasons why:
1. Shopping makes me sick. In high school, I used to get really dizzy and gross feeling if we spent too much time in the mall. I am allergic to it. I actually had a name for it: "mall sickness." The only cure is a cherry limeade and maybe a big soft pretzel.
2. I've passed out in a Wal-Mart before and have no desire to do it again in an inopportune time and get trampled.
3. I have experienced a raging case of people-induced claustrophobia before. I get worked up if all I can see around me is people and they're all up in my personal space.
4. On a normal day, I have little patience for people who are blocking the aisle with their carts or talking loudly to their shopping party or behaving badly in general, especially while shopping. It makes me wonder why I quit smoking. (Hint: it had something to do with passing out in Wal-Mart.)
5. I don't enjoy partaking in mob mentality. If I want to be involved in a spectacle on Thanksgiving night, I'll go watch Christmas lights being turned on somewhere.
As much as I enjoy a bargain, I would never go shopping on Black Friday. In fact, I've been cultivating a plan to avoid holiday shopping altogether. I, for one, love giving the impersonal present of a gift card. I like getting them, too. I don't need someone all up in my business, trying to think about what I would like. I also don't want to bother someone to make me a list. And besides, the gift card is the classy version of a wad of cash.
My avoid-holiday-shopping plan involves saving all year...by shopping all year. I use my credit card for every single purchase I make, trying to rack up the rewards points. Then when Christmas rolls around, I thoughtfully sit down at my computer and think long and hard about which store (that has a gift card offer through my credit card) my family members would like to shop at most. Then I push a couple of buttons and voila! Christmas shopping is done.
And everyone is happy. My father-in-law can buy bullets and long underwear at the outdoor store, father can buy drill bits and wildflower seeds at the home improvement store, my niece can make her own stuffed toy and my nephew can have an excuse to browse for hours in the book store before finally making his selection. Shopping for yourself at your leisure is a fun experience. Standing outside of a box store for two hours at 1 AM to try to be the first in line in the hopes that you can get one of the four laptop computers in the entire store is not fun. Just thinking about it makes me dizzy. I'd better quit before I have to make a late night run for a cherry limeade.
1. Shopping makes me sick. In high school, I used to get really dizzy and gross feeling if we spent too much time in the mall. I am allergic to it. I actually had a name for it: "mall sickness." The only cure is a cherry limeade and maybe a big soft pretzel.
2. I've passed out in a Wal-Mart before and have no desire to do it again in an inopportune time and get trampled.
3. I have experienced a raging case of people-induced claustrophobia before. I get worked up if all I can see around me is people and they're all up in my personal space.
4. On a normal day, I have little patience for people who are blocking the aisle with their carts or talking loudly to their shopping party or behaving badly in general, especially while shopping. It makes me wonder why I quit smoking. (Hint: it had something to do with passing out in Wal-Mart.)
5. I don't enjoy partaking in mob mentality. If I want to be involved in a spectacle on Thanksgiving night, I'll go watch Christmas lights being turned on somewhere.
As much as I enjoy a bargain, I would never go shopping on Black Friday. In fact, I've been cultivating a plan to avoid holiday shopping altogether. I, for one, love giving the impersonal present of a gift card. I like getting them, too. I don't need someone all up in my business, trying to think about what I would like. I also don't want to bother someone to make me a list. And besides, the gift card is the classy version of a wad of cash.
My avoid-holiday-shopping plan involves saving all year...by shopping all year. I use my credit card for every single purchase I make, trying to rack up the rewards points. Then when Christmas rolls around, I thoughtfully sit down at my computer and think long and hard about which store (that has a gift card offer through my credit card) my family members would like to shop at most. Then I push a couple of buttons and voila! Christmas shopping is done.
And everyone is happy. My father-in-law can buy bullets and long underwear at the outdoor store, father can buy drill bits and wildflower seeds at the home improvement store, my niece can make her own stuffed toy and my nephew can have an excuse to browse for hours in the book store before finally making his selection. Shopping for yourself at your leisure is a fun experience. Standing outside of a box store for two hours at 1 AM to try to be the first in line in the hopes that you can get one of the four laptop computers in the entire store is not fun. Just thinking about it makes me dizzy. I'd better quit before I have to make a late night run for a cherry limeade.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Poor Man Fancy Snacks
Happy Thanksgiving! It's the official start of the holiday season. And you know what that means...lots of people coming in and out of your house or you going in and out of a lot of other people's houses. You don't want to be seem an ungracious host or guest. So take some snacks!
I love snacks. Who doesn't? I think every day is snack-worthy, but some people reserve snacks for special occasions. Nothing is more special than the holidays. So you can't just be like, "Ya want some chips?" You should serve fancy snacks. And because I Can't Afford It, and maybe you can't either, try some Poor Man Fancy Snacks.
My favorite category of Poor Man Fancy Snacks is "You c'n put it on a Saltine." (Note: Today everything that is written in quotes has an accent when I say it in my head. Think NASCAR and Busch Light before noon--all in all, a pretty good life. But not cooking meth and losing teeth--those people wouldn't appreciate fancy snacks. They'll be happy with a bag of chips and a bowl of Skittles.) If you happen to be more flush with cash, you can also put these things on fancier crackers, or those little bread slices. You can even put them on vegetables!
Today's "You c'n put it on a Saltine" snack was inspired by black olive tapenade and Laughing Cow cheese. I liked to put this on my celery, but then I ran out of it.
Here's how it happened: Saturday, "as I was gittin' the mustard for my corn dog" I noticed a forlorn half jar of green olives. Then I remembered that I had a few roasted red peppers in oil left in a jar in the back of the fridge. Then the wheels in my head started turning. And ladies and gent, I present to you:
Green Olive and Red Pepper Tapenade
1/2 jar green olives, liquid drained off
1/4 - 1/3 jar of roasted red peppers in oil
couple peeled garlic cloves
Throw it all in the food processor. Dump it back in one of the jars to store. Fin
I don't know how much this costs. Maybe 70 cents for a cheap 1/2 jar of olives. Maybe the roasted red peppers were $1.33. And the garlic was like 10 cents. So $2.13 total? And I probably have 10-20 servings in there so about 20ish cents per serving? The good thing about this is that you can use up things you buy for one recipe but end up with leftovers you don't know what to do with--you can use green olives, black olives, capers, roasted red peppers, anything that is in a salty-briny solution, plus something olive oil-y (or just add some olive oil to the food processor). I think garlic or a little bit of onion is a good addition.
I like this on a cracker or a crispy vegetable--celery, thick slices of cucumber, etc--with a shmear of cheese. Laughing Cow is great but regular cream cheese works.
And there you have it, your first installment of Poor Man Fancy Snacks--You C'n Put It on a Saltine. I look forward to trying out/making up more Poor Man Fancy Snack recipes in the future. My mom's old Betty Crocker cookbook from the early 1970s is rife with inspiration. I'll have to figure out what to substitute for the MSG some recipes call for, though.
_______________________________
I'm visiting family for Thanksgiving so I scheduled this to post. I don't know what I'm eating today, but most of it will be absolutely free. Time to camel up!
I love snacks. Who doesn't? I think every day is snack-worthy, but some people reserve snacks for special occasions. Nothing is more special than the holidays. So you can't just be like, "Ya want some chips?" You should serve fancy snacks. And because I Can't Afford It, and maybe you can't either, try some Poor Man Fancy Snacks.
My favorite category of Poor Man Fancy Snacks is "You c'n put it on a Saltine." (Note: Today everything that is written in quotes has an accent when I say it in my head. Think NASCAR and Busch Light before noon--all in all, a pretty good life. But not cooking meth and losing teeth--those people wouldn't appreciate fancy snacks. They'll be happy with a bag of chips and a bowl of Skittles.) If you happen to be more flush with cash, you can also put these things on fancier crackers, or those little bread slices. You can even put them on vegetables!
Today's "You c'n put it on a Saltine" snack was inspired by black olive tapenade and Laughing Cow cheese. I liked to put this on my celery, but then I ran out of it.
Here's how it happened: Saturday, "as I was gittin' the mustard for my corn dog" I noticed a forlorn half jar of green olives. Then I remembered that I had a few roasted red peppers in oil left in a jar in the back of the fridge. Then the wheels in my head started turning. And ladies and gent, I present to you:
Green Olive and Red Pepper Tapenade
1/2 jar green olives, liquid drained off
1/4 - 1/3 jar of roasted red peppers in oil
couple peeled garlic cloves
Throw it all in the food processor. Dump it back in one of the jars to store. Fin
I don't know how much this costs. Maybe 70 cents for a cheap 1/2 jar of olives. Maybe the roasted red peppers were $1.33. And the garlic was like 10 cents. So $2.13 total? And I probably have 10-20 servings in there so about 20ish cents per serving? The good thing about this is that you can use up things you buy for one recipe but end up with leftovers you don't know what to do with--you can use green olives, black olives, capers, roasted red peppers, anything that is in a salty-briny solution, plus something olive oil-y (or just add some olive oil to the food processor). I think garlic or a little bit of onion is a good addition.
I like this on a cracker or a crispy vegetable--celery, thick slices of cucumber, etc--with a shmear of cheese. Laughing Cow is great but regular cream cheese works.
And there you have it, your first installment of Poor Man Fancy Snacks--You C'n Put It on a Saltine. I look forward to trying out/making up more Poor Man Fancy Snack recipes in the future. My mom's old Betty Crocker cookbook from the early 1970s is rife with inspiration. I'll have to figure out what to substitute for the MSG some recipes call for, though.
_______________________________
I'm visiting family for Thanksgiving so I scheduled this to post. I don't know what I'm eating today, but most of it will be absolutely free. Time to camel up!
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