Darkness, a Homily

Genesis 1:2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 

This is a pretty good description of my experience with depression. The earth feels formless and empty just as life feels formless and empty. No matter what we do to try to fill up our lives, our efforts seem hollow. Emotions are dulled and formless or even nonexistent. We can put on a proper face and respond to situations in a manner that seems appropriate, but the smiles on our faces or the compassion in our eyes never quite reaches our hearts.

Darkness hangs over the surface of the deep. Try as we might to seek out joy and light, we can never quite get a good grip on them. Just as our fingers brush against them, they slip away. Light and joy are ephemeral to people suffering from depression. They are an illusion or a figment of our imaginations.

Just as the Spirit of God hovered over the waters in that time before time, we can feel as though all our relationships hover nearby but still separate. Friends, family, God--they are close enough for us to know they exist in some form, but they hover far enough away that we are unable to participate actively in those relationships, to be sure of their intentions, or to take comfort from them.

We have all glimpsed this formlessness, emptiness, darkness and separation. Whether we've battled with depression or whether we are still battling against it. Even those of us who have not felt the overwhelming waves of darkness, solitude and anxiety have had moments--however fleeting--of the darkness.

However, God didn't leave things in the formless, empty, and dark state. Likewise, he doesn't abandon us in our moments of darkness. In Deuteronomy 31:6, he encourages us to "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you." In Deuteronomy, God delivers this message to Joshua through Moses. As anyone familiar with the old spiritual knows, Joshua later defeated the fortified city of Jericho without engaging in battle.

This isn't the only time God gives us this promise of hope and encouragement. It is repeated throughout the scriptures to people who faced frightening and dark times--from Noah and Moses to Mary and Joseph to Jesus's disciples. In fact, the only child of God that was forsaken by him was his only Son. In order to redeem us from the eternal darkness of hell, God allowed Jesus to suffer and die as an abandoned human with the burden of our sin.

Even in the beginning, God, in his infinite wisdom, created a world in which we could escape the darkness before he set us on the earth. He provided light to see and time to mark, skies to soar, earth to roam and seas to sail, plants to eat, heavenly bodies to show us the way, and animals to tend. He created us in his image to reflect his love and remind one another of his promise that the feelings of formless, emptiness and darkness can be overcome. He created us to help one another through the dark times and to lead one another along the right paths so that our souls may be restored and that we can join him on that seventh day and throughout eternity, resting in the comfort of the Lord.