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Years ago, when I was still a teenager and before cell phones were ubiquitous, a couple friends of mine missed curfew. I was in bed asleep when our home phone rang. My parents woke me up and asked me if I knew where my friends were. After assuring them I did not, they told me to get dressed so we could go help look for them. Before we went too far, we got word that they turned up. We went to one of their homes, where they were both supposed to be staying. I was tired, cold, and mostly annoyed, but also relieved. They were safe, but one of their dads was still out looking for them. We went to look for him. 

He was outside of town, near a bridge where his older brother had died in a car wreck years earlier, not much older than my friends and I. In that moment, some invincible piece of my ego shattered when I saw my friend's father on the side of the highway in the middle of the night, mourning for the life his brother lost and hoping for the life his daughter had yet to live. 

That's the image that keeps running through my head tonight, as I try to reconcile that now, years later and under much different circumstances, my friend's father has lost his precious daughter. 

Amazing Five: January

Movie/Television: I really loved The Big Short. I thought it was so interesting and smart and really well put together. 

Music: I listened to Christmas music until Epiphany and even after that a little bit. I haven't really been listening music this month. 

Book: My favorite book I read this month was Accidental Saints by Nadia Bolz Weber. I think that Christian women writers like her and Rachel Held Evans and Anne Lamott share a message of grace and humanity that is so impactful and speaks to the heart of what it means to truly be a Christian. It's a welcome counterpoint to the message of evangelicals and the religious right. 

Food: Stove Top stuffing is my favorite food this month. I love dressing and I love using Stove Top in "short cut" recipes. Orange Pork Stove Top was my first foray into Stove Top years ago and it remains my favorite use of Stove Top. 

Potpourri: Podcasts are my new favorite thing. They are the reason I didn't listen to music this month. Here is a list of the podcasts I subscribe to: Happier with Gretchen Rubin, How to Be Amazing with Michael Ian Black, Fresh Air, This American Life, Serial, Planet Money, Another Round, Our National Conversation about Conversations about Race, Eliza Starting at 16, The New Yorker Radio Hour, Lore, Reply All, Dear Sugar Radio, and Pantsuit Politics. 

My Five Favorite Instgrams:

We started the year off with a girls' weekend. 

Happy birthday, hubby. 

Our village wrap place makes good food. We don't patronize it often enough. 

Family time at the indoor soccer stadium. 

Our favorite coffee shop. 

Currently: January 29 edition

Currently I'm...

Obsessed with my reading list. I took my step-daughter to the mall on Sunday. We got there before most of the stores were open so we went to Barnes & Noble. I bought 3 new books from my reading list. I should also note that it isn't really a list, just some ideas, a structure, and a goal. Every month I want to read a fiction book, a self improvement book (widely defined), something else and then in the leftover time, read Lord of the Rings. I know I won't be able to keep this pace up come summer so I want to cram in loads of books before lawn mowing season starts. 

Done with people who believe and comment that the Oscars are about "talent." Educate yourself, understand the process, think about the institutionalized racism that exists in the Academy and the movie industry and in America in general. If the Oscars were about talent, I would expect that the actor who won the SAG award for best supporting actor in a movie would at least be nominated by the Academy. I suspect that because his movie was produced by Netflix, among other reasons, many member of the Academy didn't even bother to open the screener. 

Stressed about work. One of my co-workers turned in her two week notice on Monday. It's bad timing. 

Finding funny that my husband's friend gives me such good Christmas presents. I think it's payment for letting my husband hang out with him so much. 

Oversharing: In years past, I've gotten bad cases of the winter blues. This year it feels completely opposite. There are a couple reasons for this. First, my husband got a job in November. It made scheduling Christmas celebrations difficult, but we don't have to face the January belt tightening that we've done some years. I actually spent my Christmas money on myself instead of using it to pay for other people's Christmas gifts. Second, I just keep reminding myself how great it is to hibernate. I come home, put on my comfy pajama pants, bake casseroles or make soups, drink hot tea, curl up for some Netflix, and cuddle into bed with a book.