It's an Affirmation, Not an Excuse: Starting the New Year Right

A couple weeks ago, I Googled "I can't afford it." A lot of the sites that came up in response to the query admonished readers against saying "I can't afford it." The argument being that it's a question of priorities and that most people can afford most things, if they choose to do so. "Focus on the positive" the websites seemed to say. "Don't wallow in a negatively-framed excuse." Saying "I can't afford it" is on par with that most dirty of phrases to our self-affirmation-soaked culture, "I can't."

But for me, "I can't afford it" is an affirmation. Before I can explain that, I need to explain that the way I use the phrase is as a short-cut way to make a decision. (Much like turning in a straight party ticket on voting day because you didn't have all the time you wished to investigate the candidates.) It seems like we have more decisions to make than ever. Think about shampoo, for instance. In the Target where I do most of my shopping, the shampoo and conditioner spill over into multiple aisles. There is the regular discount-store aisle, the up-scale salon products aisle and the all natural sections. And most brands have five or more different options to choose from. In reality, one soap could suffice for most everything you can imagine. Marketing. The shampoo aisle(s) is all about marketing and if you investigated all your options, you could waste hours choosing something to clean the collection of dead cells that hangs from your head.

For me, saying "I can't afford it" and choosing the cheapest option is just as valid of a decision-making shortcut as is brand loyalty or however else you select a shampoo.Similarly, the phrase allows me to set up "rules" to follow that help me to achieve more of my goals. Is it absolutely true to say that I can't afford cable tv or a parking pass or a massage? No way! But if I choose those things, I can't choose to get a new laptop or hot water heater. If I choose to buy lunch every day I work or hit the fast-food joint on the way home, I can't achieve my goal of saving more money.

And I don't see that as a negative thing. I may have grumbled in the past and I'm sure I'll grumble in the future, but being able to rely on the short-cut "I can't afford it" frees me from having to make a choice or use some other justification.

So call me lazy for having a fall-back phrase, but I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone-it, I can't afford it.