New Habits

Developing new habits is hard. I'm reminded of this over and over, whenever I have fall off the wagon, so to speak.

I can clearly identify what kept me from blogging both times that I've missed a few days. First, it was the emo-hangover from emo-warfare waged by a 9-year-old. Most recently, this, the second week of the month, is when my habit-change plans always encounter a hiccup. Before you go jumping to conclusions, it's not hormonal. The second week of the month is a busy time at work and it drains me. If I'm not working to meet a deadline of some sort, I'm planning and leading a big meeting of 40-50+ people. When I get home, "being good" is the last thing of interest. Bad tv, junk food, and bourbon seem much more comforting on bad days.

But, you know what I'm starting to realize? All this rationalizing doesn't get me closer to a goal. Rationalizing is just a $5 word for making excuses. And I can’t afford those prices.

I’m super good at starting something and not following through. Missing one whatever turns into missing two, then a week goes by, and that turns into a month. You get the idea.

The same thing happens with spending money and not spending money. It is easy and exciting to make a plan to save. The hard part comes with the mundane keeping up with the plan. That’s because keeping up with the plan is habit change.

There are a lot of tips out there to help people keep their resolutions and change their habits. You can find tons of blog posts, like this one, totally dedicated to helping people plan, implement, and track habit changes. Some of them are better than others. You can consider this post one of the "others." But, that's probably not why you're reading this blog. You're probably reading this blog either because I force you or because you were looking for a chicken pot pie recipe. Nonetheless, here are my top four suggestions for habit change:

1. Don't try to change too much at once. I've read before that we have a limited amount of willpower. For example, dieters are more likely to overspend and people trying to curb spending are more likely to give into other temptations. I believe this wholeheartedly. A few weeks ago, Husband and I were wandering around some of my favorite stores. Our last stop on the errand run for the evening was the grocery store. By the time we got there, all I could contemplate was buying the quickest, easiest, cheesiest thing I could cram into my pie-hole. It turned out to be Hot Pockets. If you tackle more than one habit, try to make sure they are related. Currently, I'm trying to save money and update this blog. The two are vaguely related as stated below 

2. Know why you want to change your habit. I started this blog because I knew I was going to need an outlet to express myself about this uncrisis of becoming a one-income household. (I say "uncrisis" because as scary as it is, we could be a LOT worse off. I realize this and am immensely thankful for it.) I decided to focus more on saving money because because I realized how closely we were to living on the edge. I started thinking about what would happen if our uncrisis suddenly turned into a crisis. I, for one, would rather keep my boots together with electrical tape (true story) and have an extra $80 in the bank than to have new boots and not know how to pay for the electricity.

3. Start with something you're really motivated about. I quit smoking. That is probably the biggest habit change that most people can go through--short of getting off the smack (heroin, not vagina, just to be clear). Your first habit change doesn't have to be huge or difficult, but it should be something that means a lot to you. For me, I know that if I can quit smoking, I can do anything. That mantra helped me start running and complete a half-marathon. (Sidebar: Another mantra that worked for running and smoking was that I can do anything for a minute longer.) Chances are, the success you have in one area and the lessons you learn from that first habit change will motivate you and help you succeed with other changes.


4.  Be accountable to someone else. This blog serves two purposes at once. While I'm not divulging any specific financial information, just knowing that I have to record how much I spent on food for the day makes me more aware of the little unnecessary splurges that we can sometimes fall victim to. Also, since writing this blog is a habit change itself, knowing that I have a few regular readers helps spur me out of the funk of not writing.

I think a good way to sum up this blog is through the words of Gretchen Rubin. While I don't know if I could ever sustain the kind of habit change marathon that she recounts in The Happiness Project, I have taken several lessons and words of wisdom from her work. Rubin records "Secrets of Adulthood" in her book and blog and this one is particularly apropos for me and for this post: "What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE." Not only does doing something every day reinforce it as a habit, carving out the time from our busy schedules means that this particular whatever is important.
________________
Breakfast: egg and soft cheese on English muffin
Lunch: Meeting lunch. $10 I don't know why I don't turn this in to be reimbursed. I never have before, though, and I guess I won't start now. 
Dinner: I haven't eaten anything yet.



Total: I may update this later. I just really want to hit "Publish Post" and overcome the blog-post-apathy feeling.